Are You Relational or Results-Oriented?
I recently attended a conference, and at the beginning, you had to write in the program book if you were more “Relational” or “Results” oriented. I wrote “Relational” and truly believed that about myself.
As the days went on, we played games, did projects, completed our courses, and in the end, I learned that I was WAY more results-oriented than relational. I was SHOCKED! However, realizing that was the best thing I could have learned about myself, and I think many of us, as mothers and wives, tend to believe that we are relational when most of us are all about the results……
Within the first week of being home, I caught myself saying things that I had always said, like, “We don’t have time right now; I have to get this done,” “wait, I’m trying to do this,” “While you do this, I’m going to be doing that,” and the list goes on and on of producing “results.” Now, hear me out. I know that as moms if we don’t go to the grocery store and cook, some people will be very “hangry,” but I don’t think anyone will die if we stop and take time to be more relational in our day.
We have an 18-year-old in our home, and if there is anything I have learned in life with kids, the days are long, but the years are TRULY VERY SHORT! Where did the last 18 years go, and how did he go from fitting into my hands to me almost being able to fit into his hands?? Seriously, I have a tiny window of time left with him, and I want to make the most of it. I remember people telling me this (The days are long, but the years are short), and it was hard to believe when they were younger and the days were so long sometimes, but trust me, it is so very accurate!
At the conference, a wise older man who is a recent widower taught me an acronym B.U.S.Y. This, too, changed my perspective on being relational or results (aka busy) oriented. The acronym B.U.S.Y. could mean “Being Under Satan’s Yoke.” OUCH! That could be an entire sermon in and of itself. Having shared that acronym, I want to point out that the best outcome is for a person to be equally relational AND results oriented. This blog is in no way saying stop producing results so you can be all about relationships. We must do both, which is challenging but not impossible.
So, my point in all of this is, maybe you are relational (and some are), but if you are more “results” oriented like me, can we slow down long enough as moms to just have a conversation, read a book, say a prayer with them, play a game, and to truly “look” when they say “Look mom” even if you have heard it 500 times that day? You will NEVER regret a single time you stopped long enough to have a conversation with your child(ren). By the way, this goes for spouses, but that is another blog for another day. 😊
Questions to reflect upon:
- What one thing could I give up in my schedule to have more time with my family?
- Am I spending time in God’s Word each day and praying for my child(ren) each day, or am I too busy? This is THE MOST IMPORTANT thing that we can do for our family.
- When I stop to think about my day honestly, am I more results-oriented or more relational? Remember, the goal is to achieve a good balance between the two.